Recently I heard a complaint about the poor Health Care System in America. It got me wondering why no one complains about the poor Lawn Care System in America. You see, the White Man's lawn mower is on the blink, resulting in a very substandard level of care for his lawn.
Why don't people complain about the American Lawn Care System? Well, simply because Americans generally accept the responsibility for the care of their own lawns. Whether they do it themselves or hire it out, it never dawns on them that this is a burden best left to the Government to bear.
But why shouldn't the Government take the responsibility for maintaining lawns in this country? Why not have a Department of Lawns, or a Lawn Czar answerable only to the President? Wouldn't this be the best way to assure green, healthy lawns for every American? Wouldn't this be the best way to reduce waste, inefficiency, and corruption in the American Lawn Care System?
In a word, NO. The present system, wherein those who want green, healthy lawns are free to pay anyone else to do what they are unwilling or unable to do themselves, works as well at eliminating waste, inefficiency, and corruption as any system could. Yes, it is ridiculous how much money is spent on gasoline, riding lawn mowers, and fertilizer every year--money that could go toward feeding the hungry; ridiculous that lawn grass is the Number One Crop on American soil, yet all of it is thrown away unused, when it could have at least served as pasture; ridiculous that so many innocent children die every year in senseless Lawn Mower Accidents, when they could have been out speeding around in sports cars instead. But would any of this be improved if the Government stepped in and took over the Lawn Care Industry? Not likely.
If my neighbours don't like how my lawn looks, they presently have two options: they can band together, form a city government, and pass a law making it illegal to let my lawn grass grow this high, then send the Department of Public Works in to enforce the ordinance at my landlord's expense. Or, they can pitch in and help me get it mowed. I'm thankful that there are still neighbours around of the latter sort, and that I'm allowed to count myself as one of them. Sooner or later, my lawn is going to get mowed, and as things now stand, I don't expect the Government to have any part in it.
Good. I'm glad you just compared my brother's struggles to pay for his Cystic Fibrosis treatment to mowing a lawn. You're beautiful.
ReplyDeleteRest assured, Mike. Your brother is in the Federal Government's kind and loving hands.
ReplyDeleteUnlike my lawn, which appears to have a better prognosis.
I could write another post on WHY it's so much easier to afford Lawn Care then Health Care, but I'm afraid I would probably get a similar reaction.
Well, it happened. A neighbor came over and mowed my lawn. Even offered to help fix our mower. Now, should any member of his family suffer from a physical affliction, I'd be happy to assist in his recovery. But I'd have to be careful just HOW helpful, or I risk being jailed for doing so, scabbie that I am.
ReplyDelete