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Tuesday, 29 March 2005

An udder fiery tail into Anguish Languished

Guilty Looks Enter Tree Beers
Wants ponder tom dare worsted ladle gull hoe hat search putty yowler coils debt pimple colder Guilty Looks. Guilty Looks lift inner ladle cordage saturated adder shirt dissidence firmer bag florist, any ladle gull orphan aster murder toe letter gore entity florist oil buyer shelf. "Guilty Looks!" crater murder angularly, "Hominy terms arena garner asthma suture stooped quiz-chin? Goiter door florist? Sordidly NUT!" "Wire nut, murder? wined Guity Looks, hoe dint peony tension tore murder's scaldings. "Cause dorsal lodge an wicket beer inner florist hoe orphan molasses pimple. Ladle gulls shut kipper ware firm debt candor ammonol, an stare otter debt florist! Debt florist's mush toe dentures furry ladle gull!" Wail, pimple oil-wares wander due wart udder pimple dump wampum toe due. Debt's jest hormone nurture.

Wan moaning, Guilty Looks dissipater murder, an win entity florist. Fur lung, disk avengeress gull wetter putty yowler coils cam tore ladle cordage inhibited buyer hull firmly off beers - Fodder Beer (home pimple, fur oblivious raisins, coiled "Brewing"), Murder Beer, an Ladle Bore Beer. Disk moaning, oiler beers hat jest lifter cordage, ticking ladle bask-its, an hat gun entity florist toe peck block-barriers an rash-barriers. Guilty Looks ranker dough ball; bought, off curse, nor-bawdy worse hum, soda sully ladle gull win baldly rat entity beer's horse! Honor tipple inner darning rum, stud tree boils fuller sop - wan grade bag boiler sop, wan muddle-sash boil, an wan tawny ladle boil. Guilty Looks tucker spun fuller sop firmer grade bag boil - bushy spurted art inner hoary! "Arch!" crater gull, "Debt sop's toe hart - barns mar mouse!" Dingy traitor sop inner muddle-sash boil, witch worse toe coiled. Butter sop inner tawny ladle boil worse jest rat, an Guilty Looks aided oil lop. Dingy nudist tree cheers - wan anomalous cheer, wan muddle-sash cheer, an wan tawny ladle cheer. Guilty Looks set darn inner ladle cheer, bushy worse toe bag ferret, ant soddenly bustard. Clamming upper stars tutor beer's bet-rum, Guilty Looks dish-cupboard tree bets - wan grade bag bet, wan muddle-sash bet, an wan tawny ladle bet. Failing torrid, shay flunker shelf honor ladle bet, an jester cobbler menace letter, worse sunder slip an snorting.

Inner ladle wile, donors offer cordage cam beck firmer barrier-pecking extradition, currying bask-its fuller barriers. Whinny entity darning rum, Fodder Beer stuttered snuffing an grueling tomb shelf. "Warts ban goring earn hair?" crumpled dole beer, "Conjure small psalm-sing deferent a boarder horse?" "Crashes!" crater murder beer, ashy castor quack glands adder tipple, "Hose ban muddling wet debt sop?" Ladle Bore Beer stuttered crayon. "Jest locket mar ladle boiler sop - oil garbled dope! An locket mar itchy pitchy cheer - oil bustard!" Locking adder bustard cheer, Murder Beer bay-gander gat historical, an stuttered hollowing adder horse-barn: "Brewing! Brewing! Way gut BURGHERS inner horse. HORSE BURGHERS! Quack! Coiler place! Wail, dun stun dare during nosing! Coiler Place Deportment, quack!" "Hammer garner coiler Place Deportment wen way dun heifer toiler-fun?" resplendent Brewing, inner trampling verse. "Set darn, worming, an cape quote! Yore oil-wares thanking dares burghers inner horse!" Oiler shame, Brewing worse jesters scarred aster udders; infect, haze niece war shagging.

Finely, Fodder Beer goodies grade bag short-gum, Murder Beer gutter muddle-sash haunting raffle, an Ladle Bore Beer goodies tawny ladle pestle, an oiler beers crypt upper stars, ware Guilty Looks worse line honor bet, sunders leap an snorting. Herring door beers, shay weakened, lipped otter door window, an dished aware fur harm jesters fascist sheik good scrabble. Oiler beers tar darner stars, an stuttered toe locker doers an widows. "Fodder," aster ladle bore beer, finely, "Wart worse debt discussing crasher honor bet? Wart worse debt awk lea ammonol wet oil debt yowler far honor had, an hoe dint half nor far atoll honor beck? Wart worse debt hoary bell lurking crasher, Fodder?" Fodder Beer shuttered. "Comb hair, mar bore. Heresy gut lessen furrier! Debt discussing crasher worsen HORMONE BEAN! Kipper ware firm debt candor ammonol! Dare nor gut! Warts mar, are dun wander catcher goring entity florist oil bar yore shelf. Debt florist's mush two dentures furry ladle beer!

[moderately redacted by the blogger, especially to remove the English word "and"]

Friday, 25 March 2005

My living will

Lest anyone later accuse me of not having given directives as to how my body should be disposed of should I ever become incommunicative for over three weeks, I offer below my "living will":

I, the father of Andy, being of sound mind and body, and a resident of a State formed under the authority of the Northwest Ordinance, thankful to my Saviour for the years he has given me in the flesh and unaware of how long my time on this earth shall last, do hereby set forth the terms upon which I wish to leave this mortal life.
NOTE: Any pertinent instructions written and signed in my hand, including those entered onto a keyboard by me in the presence of impartial witnesses, shall supersede this document.
NOTE: All references to the male gender in this document shall be construed to equally refer to the female gender, and all references to swine shall be construed to equally refer to any unclean animal as listed in Leviticus chapter eleven, WEB version.
ITEM 1. It is my will to live as long as there is someone willing to care for my physical needs at his own expense.
ITEM 2. I do not authorize anyone to withhold the nourishment or care my body needs to continue functioning for any reason, under any circumstances.
ITEM 3. Except as provided for elsewhere in Items one through six of this document, I do not authorize any beneficiary of any insurance policy which may be taken out on my life to exercise any right he may otherwise have to make any decisions that would hasten my death.
ITEM 4. If ever a time comes that my body ceases to continue the functions necessary for life, I authorize anyone to perform whatever procedure he feels necessary to restore those functions, provided he assumes full financial and legal responsibility for that procedure and any hospitalization directly resulting from it.
ITEM 5. I authorize my primary heir to sue for my release from any hospitalization to which he has not given his consent, without let or hindrance, even if such a release should cause my death.
ITEM 6. I authorize any court settlement which is intended for my care to be used for my treatment, restoration, rehabilitation, and reconstruction, with the following exceptions:
1) Legal expenses related to petitioning the court for the withholding or provision of nutrition or life support;
2) Surgery or drug therapy that is not reasonably expected to prolong my life more than five years;
3) Surgery to remove organs from my body for the purpose of organ donation;
4) Surgery to implant body parts donated by, or recovered from, simians or swine.
5) Expenses related to the final disposition of my mortal remains.
ITEM. I charge my primary heir to take into account my extreme distaste for hypodermic needles when ordering my medical care, and my desire that they be used only to deliver drugs or nutrition, without which I would reasonably be expected to die within five days, or to develop, as a direct result of withholding hypodermic therapy during those five days, an irreversible condition which could reasonably be expected to end my life within a year. This is the only item in my Living Will which I leave up to the discretion of my primary heir, provided he complies with the other stipulations above.
Electronically signed and edited respectively, using password access to and, while physically located in Jackson Township, on this Catholic Good Friday of the year of our Lord two thousand and five.