Remember the 2000 Election?

For your reading entertainment, here are some hit songs from the 2000 election:


THE PALM BEACH POKEY

You put your stylus in,
You pull your stylus out,
You put your stylus in,
And you punch Buchanan out.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You put the Gore votes in,
You pull the Bush votes out,
You put the Gore votes in,
And you do another count.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You bring your lawyers in,
You drag the whole thing out,
You bring your lawyers in,
And you put it all in doubt.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You let your doctors spin,
You let the pundits spout,
You let your doctors spin,
And your people whine and pout.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
That's what it's all about!

Charlie Henrickson, copyright 2000


HOW THE GORE-INCH STOLE FLORIDA

Can we count them with our nose?
Can we count them with our toes?
Should we count them where we stand?
Should we count them all by hand?
If I do not like the count,
I will simply throw it out!
I will not let this vote count stand
I don't like it, AL GORE I am!

Can we change these numbers here?
Can we change them, calm my fear?
What do you mean that Bush has won?
This is not fair, this is not fun!
Let's count them upside down this time
Let's count until the state is mine!
I will not let this vote count stand!
I don't like it, AL GORE I am!

I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit!
You have not heard the last of it!
I'll count the ballots one by one
And hold each one up to the sun!
I'll count, recount, and count some more!
You'll grow to hate this little chore
But I won't, can't let this vote count stand!
I don't like it, AL GORE I am!

I won't leave town, I'm staying here!
I've glued my desk chair to my rear!
Tipper, Hillary, Bubba too,
All telling me that I should sue!
We find th'Electoral College vile!
Recount the votes until I smile!
We do not want this vote to stand!
I don't like it, AL GORE I am!

How shall we count this ballot box?
Let's count it standing in our socks!
Shall we count this one in a tree?
And who shall count it, you or me?
We cannot, cannot count enough!
We must not stop, we must be tough!
I do not want this vote to stand!
I don't like it, AL GORE I am!

What's that? What are you trying to say?
You think the current count should stay?
You do not like my counting schemes?
They make you tense, give you bad dreams?
Foolish folk, you're wrong--you'll see!
Your only care should be for me!
I will not let this vote count stand!
I don't like it, AL GORE I am!

--Anonymous, revised 2008

STILL UNPRESIDENTED

Chorus: Tell me Dan Rather, I've wanted to know
Ever since my vote was sent.
I voted for Bush, 3 minutes ago, and I still don't know who's President.

Tell me Dan Rather, I want to know,
If you don't, then I'll go ask my Dad.
I know about birds, and I know about bees,
But WHAT is a "pregnant chad?"

Chorus: Tell me Dan Rather, I've wanted to know
Ever since my vote was sent.
I voted for Bush, 3 whole hours ago, and I still don't know who's President.

The Army, the Navy, the Air Force, Marines,
All voted a new Chief to Hail.
But none of their votes could be counted at all
If they sent them by Armed Forces Mail.

Chorus: Tell me Dan Rather, I've wanted to know
Ever since my vote was sent.
I voted for Bush, 3 long days ago, and I still don't know who's President.

With the way that things just keep on getting dragged out,
I'm Bushed, and increasingly bored.
But in this election, there's been so much bull,
I'm afraid that we all will get Gored!

Chorus: Tell me Dan Rather, I've wanted to know
Ever since my vote was sent.
I voted for Bush, a whole 3 weeks ago, and I still don't know who's President!

--W. Landow, copyright 2000