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Friday, 28 October 2011

The Mennonite Drug Trade

Counter Whenever a universal draft is levied against a populace, Mennonites opposed to shooting humans come under persecution, and start looking for somewhere else to live. This is what brought them from Greater Germany to America in the first place, back when the King of England guaranteed their right to live peacefully in his overseas dominions.

The war between England and her American colonies was the impetus behind the Mennonite immigration into Canada, still under the King of England. The Civil War drove even more Mennonites northward, as their only other choices were conscription or going into hiding. [UPDATE: This is not the history of the Mennonites in our story, who, over the centuries, were driven in turn from The Netherlands, to East Prussia, to the Ukraine, and finally to Canada.] By the time World War I came along, there were sizable communities of Mennonites throughout Canada. Many of these, seeking to emigrate, bypassed the troublesome USA and moved directly to northern Mexico, filling out the colonies recently vacated by polygamous Mormons such as those in the ancestry of Willard Romney.

Over the years, these Plattdeutsch-speaking Mexicans have kept in close contact with their Canadian cousins--thus setting up the Mennonite version of the NAFTA Superhighway. As everyone knows, labour costs in Mexico are low. This results in Mennonites building their famous Deutsch furniture in the Mexican colonies, and exporting it northward--often all the way to Canada, where it is sold as authentic Mennonite artistry. And thus the steady stream of Mennonite truckers hauling furniture out of Mexico.

Turns out that a lot of times, this furniture is tucked full of drugs. The Mennonite drivers claim not to know anything about it when it is found, and the Mennonite furniture stores claim not to be expecting anything hidden inside their furniture consignments. Either one or the other is lying, or someone on either side of the border is surreptitiously dipping into the furniture shipment unbeknownst to any of the Mennonites.

At any rate, border guards have been alerted that just because a driver is a Mennonite, it doesn't mean he is any less needful of having his load searched for illegal drugs.

May 2014: This topic made the news recently.

UPDATE June 2016: and again.

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